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PHYSIPONOMACHIA

TO THAT MOST DISTINGUISHED AND WORTHY GENTLEMAN, DOMINUS BUCKRIDGE, MOST WORTHY PRESIDENT OF THE COLLEGE OF ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST

If either Philoponus, father of a severe Muse, or Anchinoeus, child of a lively goddess, shall have given you pleasure, let them join hands with labor and art to honor your name.

C. WREN

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

OENEUS King,
PERIVIA Queen
DEIANIRA, GEORGE Their daughters
HERCULES, ACHELOUS, PROMELUS, PANOPEUS Rival suitors
PHILARCHUS Footman

PROLOGUE
PONOPHILUS

This is the appointed place, and this is the day on which Anchinoeus and I (Wit and Labor) are going to compete for glory. I’m surprised he has not arrived. But see, he comes. (Enter Anchinoeus.)
ANCH. What’s this, Ponophilus? You do a fine job of keeping your promises: you said you’d be here alone, with no escort. [He points at the audience.] So why invite so many witnesses to your effort?
PON. Even this invention smacks of your wit, rascally and lying. I brought a great throng? I should much more imagine you have assembled them so they may learn what your nimble wit can do.
ANCH. Believe me, I’m wholly without knowledge of this deed. But since the appear to have come of their own free will, they will see that silly labor will yield to me.
PON. No, lazy wit will yield place to me. I closely examine the mysteries of the sciences, I investigate the profundities of the arts.
ANCH. But I am prompt to invent.
PON. Industriously I practice.
ANCH. But foolish labor is stupid, if wit be absent.
PON. Empty wit is a trifling thing, if labor be absent. It turns into nothing, as does melting snow when one applies fire to it. But discussion is most unfitting at this time, we should be competing. So what manner of fight to you wish us to engage in?
ANCH. I have arranged this well enough. I’ve already made ready a play, and given it actors, and I have to hand all the needful. We shall don new masks and assume other names, and this contest will settle our present debate, as the play demonstrates the truth of the matter.
PON. That’s well, let it be so, let no delay be granted to our combat. [To the audience.] But I wish to ask one thing of you who are present: let you be fair witnesses and honest judges, and let your indulgent favor give assistance to neither party.
ANCH. Or if the judges should wish to show favor, let them favor both of us equally. That way they favor neither.

SCENE i
HERCULES, Alone

Thus far the earth has lain wide open for my powers, and hand is at rest, free at last. Now no rapine, nor tyrants’ hands, nor unbridled fury of the powerful yet reigns. I call to witness the Giants, that impious and dire race, born to crimes; I call to witness your offspring, wicked Ixion, the crude Lapiths, whom my hand subdued as they struggled. But wars have ceased, the terror of arms as come to a stop, and the innocent common people worship reborn peace. But why these things? Or what does it profit the victor, if he is not permitted to enjoy enduring peace? For me, wars must be renewed, but ones that are least fitting for Hercules. Now I must court old Oeneus’ daughter, the sole glory of Aetolia. I must obtain the fair Deianira. And if by my strength I acquire her as my bride, the whole world will not snatch her from me. I’ll approach the king. You, Father, show favor to your son. I pay your my honor, Jupiter. (Exit.)

SCENE ii
PANOPEUS 

This pleases me hugely, it’s been better than my wishes, grater than hope itself. I praise my fortunes. I worship your godhead, Cytherea, heaven’s greatest glory, by whose help my wishes in love have always turned out well. Spread quarrels, goddess, amongst the band of suitors. Thus let one strive to best another in various ways, until I alone enjoy the quarry. (Enter Promelus.) But look here, a strange happiness affects Promelus as he is plunged deep in thought. Silently I’ll listen to the news he bears. (Hides himself.)
PRO. If he is blessed, upon whom life’s many good things bestows happiness, dear Nature has granted me alone to enjoy happiness, because she honors me with the king’s favor, the girl’s love adorns me, and the populace adores me.
PAN. How puffed-up this vain hope of marriage makes him!
PRO. The king promises me no falsehoods, as he has to others before.
PAN. Hm, what’s this? All this is false.
PRO. Oeneus said these words, which I remember well: “My daughter will marry you alone, before the other suitor.” (Panopeus reveals himself.)
PAN. You lie.
PRO. Why do you come to greet me in this rude and barbarous way, uncouth Panopeus?
PAN. Why are you puffing up? I will repeat these words twice, four times, ten times, scarce one short hour has passed since he called me the bridegroom of his daughter, his future son-in-law, and gave me his hand.
PRO. I swear by my household gods, the least part of an hour has scarcely drawn out the day since, with his daughter standing by, he also placed me in charge of you and Achelous.
PAN. He put you in charge of me?
PRO. You may consider it a done deed, it surely has been accomplished.
PAN. After he gave me his word, should I believe this can be?
PRO. It has been said once for all. Put him to the test yourself.
PAN. Can I allow myself to be deceived? Why did he make his first promise and give me his hand? Has all my labor gone in vain? This won’t happen thus. I’ll quickly seek the palace, openly to condemn the king of deceit. Oh, the gods’ scorned prayers! Violated trust! (Exit.)
PRO. Let him go on deceiving, let him swindle the gullible, as long as he preserves his faith towards me unharmed. But this is not secure: in the presence of another man’s misfortune we must always be on guard ourselves. He who has come to recognize injuries escapes them. It is shameful to acknowledge being sinned against twice. Be on your guard, Oeneus, lest a double evil make you guilty. I shall follow Panopeus as he departs. I shall follow my fates, if he should be absent. (Exit.)

SCENE iii
PERIVIA, DEIANIRA

PER. Why do these sad threats sit so on your brow? My beloved Deianira, what evil is hidden buried deep in your mind? Now the time is owed to games and joking. Girls think the highest good is to be sought by prayers and entreaties. A numerous throng of suitors is avidly striving. You should cultivate your beauty, the goal they are seeking, enjoy your happiness and the good that is offered. Nobody will refuse the gifts given by fortune when it is on a rising tide.
DEI. Dear stepmother, who takes the place of my pious mother, you have the greatest concern for my welfare. Let me freely speak of my sorrows. That which other girls think a good is now troublesome to me, nor does any greater care hold me in its thrall than that I am not permitted to enjoy my love. I do not seek, nor make any of account of the other men among my suitors, Achelous alone pleases me above the others. As a prospective son-in-law he is no guest from foreign climes; he has been, for his greatest part, a fellow-countryman of ours and of this land, a mighty ruler of waters.
PER. This land is familiar to you, better you should seek a foreign one.
DEI. Greater injuries pursue the person who goes abroad, it is safer to rule at home.
PER. But your suitors are pressing, love is owned to love.
DEI. But I should prefer one to the rest, and why not love a man who loves me in return, and seeks me for his bride?
PER. You have given good counsel. But come, I know your father is seeking you. Meanwhile, be careful for your welfare. (Exeunt.)

SCENE iv
ACHELOUS, Alone

Coming from the deepest seats of the water, now I leave my kingdoms. I know not what is weighing down my mind, which sorely torments my sad heart. It sends signs of future sadness, I pray things may turn out well. I wonder with what countenance my Calydonian girl suffers my long absence. Perhaps she things I am forgetful of my love, for sure I will remove that suspicion. Love loathes all delay, nor long suffers it. (Enter Hercules.) But whence this new stranger, grave of aspect, a foreigner in his dress, and fierce with arms? I will greet him in friendly fashion.. Whoever you are, who have attain our realm as a visitor in this this place, I bid you welcome.
HERC. I give you great thanks, my unknown friend.
ACH. Pardon me, if by being overbold I have rudely interrupted your thoughts.
HERC. You are not troublesome. For, if my presence pleases you, your arrival is likewise pleasing to me. Will I obtain one thing?
ACH. Freely ask for anything. Whatever you request will be given to you according to my pledge.
HERC. This one thing I request, that you tell me whether the name of Alcides has hitherto come to your ears.
ACH. I recognize the name well enough, famed hero, and so as I may not seem to be keeping you long in suspense, my name is Achelous, and the Naiads call me the great master of the waters.
HERC. All turns out well. Nobody could be present more welcome than me, but, since you have given me your faith, I continue: ever driven hither and thither, by land and sea, my hand has bested whatever is savage, terrible, and dire in either . What region of the world, what zone of the earth has not been seen by me, or not heard of by me beforehand? But, among other men, the repute of king Oeneus has been brought to me, of whose boundless wealth and honors I do not speak. Only the greatest glory of his realm, his numerous offspring, makes him blessed. Which if I am permitted to see so that I might learn for certain whether this spoken fame corresponds to the facts, I pray you, Achelous, to offer yourself as my companion on the way.
ACH. How easily your wish is granted! I myself have already decided to visit the king. And now, if it please you, let us do away with all delay.
HERC. Proceed, I shall follow as you go before. (Exeunt.)

SCENE v
OENEUS, PERIVIA, DEIANIRA, THE FOOTMAN

OEN. Come hither, daughter, take this seat next to mine. It is your business that must be done, the time urges us that we think about your marriage. But I am surprised that the suitors have not appeared more quickly. Previously they have been insistent, at home and abroad scarcely the peace for sleep has been granted us, often I have scarce touched the food set before me without somebody petitioning for an audience. At length, to rescue myself from these ills, I have promised that I would give my daughter to all of them, and, I know full well, they will stake their claim on whatever I have previously pledged. I beg you give me your assistance, Perivia my consort, tell me by what means I can keep my faith intact towards all.
PER. If womanly counsel can offer anything of value, beloved consort, if my opinion has any worth, I shall briefly say what I think. If the suitors ask for things first promised, and each one asks for our daughter as if she were his property, you take the part of none. Let each one prove himself a man, let them fight with each other, and let the victor bear off our daughter.
OEN. You give happy advice, Perivia. But how does it seem to you now, daughter? By your judgment it stands or falls whether what your mother says is agreeable. Nod your approval, or shake your head if this displeases you.
DEI. Whatever my stepmother advises for the sake of the common good and your honor, Father, I accept most gratefully.
OEN. Stop. What’s this commotion at the door? What’s this uproar? (Enter Panopeus.)
PAN. Make way.
PER. It is not allowed.
PAN. But now it will be allowed.
OEN. Do you thus rudely enter my court, Panopeus? Does this befit you, a young man, and a man who courts my daughter? Where has friendship departed, and good manners and shame?
PAN. Why cast in my teeth my friendship and my old good manners, you treacherous man? (Enter Promelus.) With nobody compelling you, why was it allowed you to break your word? Why woulld you give your daughter to Promelus, whom you had previously granted me as my future consort?
OEN. Neither to you, nor to him.
PROM. This I thought before. But you will be over-late in recalling your uttered words. (A trumpet sounds within.) What you have given me is mine, hence she is my wife and I shall claim her.
OEN. Why did the trumpet sound?
PHIL. Exalted prince, great Alcides, lately come to your shores, is entering the palace, and likewise comes Achelous, joined to him as a comrade.
OEN. They have come most welcome, bid the people receive them with the highest honor, and in my name especially greet them both. Here I shall remain until they have arrived. (Exit Philarchus.) And what remains is this: that the time nor the place is suitable for your quarrels. Sit a while, I shall do away with all the controversy. (Enter Achelous and Hercules, with Philarchus going before them.) Greetings, famed son of mighty Jove, you whom fame has previously made familiar, though you were absent. How familiar your appearance would have been thanks to your very presence! Let this court, made happy by the sight of you, show how welcome is your presence, let the city itself bear witness, full of manifold forms of sporting.
HERC. Famed king Oeneus, in return I give my utmost thanks. Nowhere have I found before the equal of your kindliness.
OEN. But I hope it will be greater, if I attain my wishes. You, my dear consort, graciously receive our guest Hercules in all the ways you are able.
PER. No man could come to us more welcome.
OEN. Greetings, Achelous, you also come to our court as a visitor. Am I to think you have forgotten my daughter’s love?
ACH. I admit I should not have kept away so long. My father Oceanus summoned all the marine gods to his feasts, and I was obliged to attend these too.
PAN. Why these things? She doesn’t glance our way save with a scowling and severe expression. Twice she’s kissed this unknown, strange guest.
HERC. [To himself.] How sweet was that kiss, the pleasure sit s upon my lips! Whatever I seek must be accomplished with speed, lest somebody snatch it away beforehand.
DEI. [To herself.] Why are you hesitating, my soul? Hercules is worthier by far to be chosen. Yet am I able to reject a man to whom I have previously granted myself as a bride? O if I could take back intact the promise I have to Achelous! Alcides alone remains in my mind, his heart is not mastered by ills, and how he resembles his father! His neck is manly, his face is that of Jove himself, yet that of a lover. But there is something which I might praise regarding all his features: his muscles, his shoulders, and the noble head on his lofty frame.
HERC. After these signs of your goodness, Oeneus, after these feasts celebrated in honor of my arrival, permit me, who have experienced many things, to speak. You alone among other men, second to Jove my father, are a god of hospitality.
OEN. You proclaim greater things about than me than my modest ears are allowed to hear. But led me be so bold as to say this one thing frankly, that what has been done so far is the least part of what I wish. But, of whatever quality it may have been, this one thing pleases me, that Alcides visits my court as a guest.
HERC. This was not the sole cause of my long journey. Reputation has already informed me of your wealth, your honors, your children, your lords, your court crowded with suitors. But then it seemed sufficient to have believed so much. But your daughter’s beauty drew me further.
PROM. What’s this? Even now more men are seeking the girl’s bridal bower.
HERC. For her sake I have come to your palace, and ask for her as my consort. There is no need (as is often wont to occur) that I rehearse my bloodline. My father is Jupiter himself. Nor is there nead to tell how many realms feel my power. Conquered by me, the earth will be at her service.
PAN. Alcides, you are seeking the girl far too late, and thus in vain. She has recently been given me.
PROM. No, it’s for me that have been lacking the marriage-torches and and nuptial celebrations.
ACH. Why are you arguing? She has been made my bride, I swear by Hymen’s torches and the conjugal gods made parties to the deed.
OEN. Keep silent, my lords. These matters should weigh on me alone, and I must remove the evil I have sown. I have, I confess, granted my daughter as bride to each of you. But each one of you has said upon his oath that he has surpassed the others. So, that that I may discover which of you is worthier than the rest, I choose to try the matter by combat, and whoever emerges as victor will bear off my daughter.
HERC. Excellently said.
PAN. Faithless Oeneus, do you thus heal your perjuries by new tricks? Is this your final refuge?
OEN. Stifle those insults against me, I tell you. Recall your words, Panopeus, I do not want my judgment [The manuscript is damaged at this point] should he gladly consent to undertake this dire risk of his life.
ACH. Should I desert you thus, my life? Not even if Jove himself should threaten sudden death. I think it a base thing for Achelous to yield to Hercules, or a god to a man. For since you say you were born of Alcmene, Jupiter is either your genuine father thanks to a crime, or he is called so falsely and is only a fiction.
HERC. How is Jove a fiction, Achelous? Or why cast my mother in my teeth? To compete with words is only fit for women. My right hand is stronger than my tongue.
OEN. Cease, Hercules, I desire everything to be prepared fitly for the fight. Refresh yourselves a moment, meanwhile we shall go inside. Philarchus, make sure that the servants carefully attend to everything serviceable for this contest. (Exeunt, Panopeus and Promelus remain.)

SCENE vi
PANOPEUS, PROMELUS

PAN. Hey Promelus, where is your mind?
PROM. I’ve no idea.
PAN. I pray you to put aside your hatred at length. This is a common evil, let us join our minds. Cease to grieve over the wife you’ve lost. I know that plenty of girls still exist whom you should admit are worthy of your love. But if you think none is especially pretty, in the midst of your ills it is the greatest consolation to have me as a partner in misfortune.
PROM. I am not troubled by the loss of my bride, the disgrace itself vexes me more.
PAN. Nothing moves me, whatever it may have been. I very much want to observe the wedding.
PROM. If you will become my companion, we shall attend the wedding without the king’s knowledge.
PAN. Say what you will, Promelus. I shall follow your advice.
PROM. Therefore let us change our costume and take on new appearances. [The manuscript is damaged at this point.]

SCENE vii
OENEUS, DEIANIRA, GORGE, PHILARCHUS

OEN. Why does my dear gloomy Gorge so becloud her brow, why is she sadly hiding her face? Why is she shunning the manifold delights the court has to offer?
GOR. Reverend father, nothing more oppresses and troubles me in my misery than that I do not understand my troubles. I know not what troubles my heart within and rends it with cares.
PER. Trust me, husband, the ill that so torments your daughter is love.
OEN. Mutual love will remove it. Love is wont to heal itself in an Achilles-like way. Have confidence, daughter, banish these heavy sorrows and refresh your sad mind with happiness and games. As many suitors as seek your sister’s love will afterwards seek yours.
GOR. I would prefer they seek it now.
OEN. Philarchus, bid the doughty pugilists enter for the wrestling-match. (Exit Philarchus.). Now, daughter, virtue alone will give you a husband, and you should pray good for him to whom you wish to be joined in wedlock.
DEI. I shall pray only for for Hercules. If you make him my bridegroom, Cytherea, I shall daily visit your altars and temples with gifts. (Enter Philarchus with Hercules, and exits again.) But behold what majesty possesses him as he goes! Sister, have you ever seen a man more handsome than Alcides? (Enter Philarchus with Achelous.)
GOR. If Achelous also should become my husband and seek me as his bride, my tongue would never defer to this praise of yours.
PHIL. You princes readied for the wrestling-match, I want to see your hands clenched, I want you to put up your arms.
OEN. I do not demand this unfairly, noble lords. My affection for you is equal, but my hope is that this wrestling-match will remove the equality from me in my fairness, and he who is first in the match will gain the prize.
BOTH We approve the match and the prize.
OEN. Bind them in the name and love of my daughter.
PHIL. You who are born of Jove, revere the honor of my king’s daughter, if you have earned her when you prove yourself in a fair match, just as I trust her love will bless him who justly wins.
HERC. May the girl go to the man who earns her, thus I wholly wish.
PHIL. Achelous, revere the honor of my king’s daughter, if you have earned her when you prove yourself in a fair match, just as I trust her love will bless him who justly wins.
ACH. If Achelous should fail in earning her, let him fail.
HERC. So let us come to grips. (Hercules and Achelous wrestle.)
ACH. Though you have never experienced defeat before, Hercules, by my strength you will finally fall. [Hercules takes a fall, and regains his feet.]
HERC. That I may return the stronger. [Achelous takes a fall, and regains his feet.]
ACH. I bear a weight heavier than the burden of Atlas. I’ve fallen, let me up again. So far we’re equal in the match.
HERC. I’m not celebrating my triumph as the victor, Achelous, collect your strength again.
ACH. I seem to myself to be weighed down by a huge mountain.
OEN. Let the lords regain their breath, then let them come to grips again. It is allowed you weary men to separate for a moment, so that, stronger, you may rejoin battle.
HERC. He backed off, I hold my place unhurt.
ACH. I shall return immediately, there’ll not be the slightest delay. (Exit Achelous.)
DEI. As it seems to me, Achelous is disheartened, he often bends his knee like this.
GOR. He shows there’s virtue in him, but I’m more surprised why Hercules backs off thus, why he yields place.
DEI. Like a ram, the more he retreats, the stronger an onrush he makes at his foe, his strength enhanced. (Enter Achelous.)
ACH. Thus horns are fitted to my head. Neptune, ruler of the sea, once gave me the power of assuming new shape, and now, when I see my powers are failing, there’s need for art and wit. Armed with these, I shall savagely rush at Alcides.
OEN. By the holy gods! From where does Achelous return with horns, where did he get this monstrous head?
ACH. Are you surprised, Oeneus, that it is always permitted gods to assume new forms? Now look out for yourself, Alcides.
HERC. Why, you clever fellow, do you work deceptions on unarmed men?
PER. You’ll have this fellow as a husband?
DEI. I shudder at the monster.
OEN. I forbid a fight, nor do I want you to contend with tricks.
HERC. But now let each of us employ his art, I know he’ll wish he still had his old appearance.
ACH. You’re wrong, but look out for your safety. You’ll feel my new strength. (Achelous makes an assault on Hercules.)
HERC. Where are you running, my captured man? Now you’ll pay for your deceit. [Hercules overcomes him.]
ACH. Bested, I submit. Oh, spare me! Control your hands.
HERC. You are praying to a deaf man. If this fellow can’t be broken, he can be HERC apart.
ACH. Oh, I fear lest my brains flow out.
OEN. Oh you who are born of Jove, I congratulate you on your victory. I bestow upon you my daughter as the prize for this fight.
HERC. But whatever honor has befallen me, my Calydonian girl, will be at your service.
DEI. I care nothing for honors, as long as Alcides is mine. For if I possess you, I don’t give a fig for the rest.
ACH. Oh the very harsh Fates! Thus I live with new miseries constantly being added for my miserable self: my consort is taken away; defeated, I have lost the former glory of my head. I pray you give me back my horn, you have no need for a trophy to celebrate your triumph. Do not be too savage, often it has sufficed a victor to have won in a fair contest.
HERC. As a badge of my honor, straightway being converted into a cup, this horn will adorn my marriage.
ACH. But may the gods prevent this, rather keep the horn from your celebrations. This horn is a serious omen. Nor will you give it back unrewarded, if you return to me that which is mine. For I will give you a horn of plenty crammed with everything.
HERC. On this condition I return to you your horn. Beware lest you deceive me.
ACH. I swear by Father Ocean’s very godhead, I all always fulfill my firm promises.
OEN. The rites remain to be performed, which I want to be done henceforth at the greatest expense upon this day of the year, and I bid this be annual festival in Aetolia. (Exeunt. Gorge remains.)

SCENE viii
GORGE, Alone

“As many suitors as seek your sister’s love will afterwards seek yours.” Pray, why “afterwards”? I strike myself as marriageable enough at this present age. Nothing about me is deformed, such as would repel suitors, nothing that cannot be loved. My face is comely enough, my cheeks do not lack their proper color, nor my jutting breasts. As much as I can remember, Venus, I have never offended your godhead. Yet, whatever it has been, we must bear our fates with a calm mind. I hope that what Father said is true, that afterwards there will be those who will seek me in marriage. I shall follow my sister, though with a different fate. While Sister hastens to her wedding bower, I sadly return to my bed, alone. (Exit.)

SCENE ix
OENEUS, PROMELEUS, PANOPEUS, Their costumes changed

PROM. I judge the contest to have been unequal, yet it was fine to watch: it proved that virtue has a will.
PAN. Our hope was baffled. The prize is rightly given Hercules, and we deservedly suffer the delays which we created in our sloth. Now our chagrin advises a retreat. Our love has driven us hence, since there is no place for it.
OEN. Let it please you to attend the wedding: even the hospitality’s solicitude requires this, if Venus should deceive you. I can say this with confidence and safety: I would prefer my daughter to rush into your embrace than that of a man whom is falsely thought to be the son of Jove. But I emerge surpassed by the lot I myself decreed. I perceived this throng of suitors to be most troublesome. I swear by Hymenaeus’ godhead, it would have been allowed for the girl who has now granted her submissive hand to the Jove-born one to bless either your bed, or yours, prince: I have been lucky enough to experience the onrush of utmost good fortune.
PROM. Our prayers are now in vain. Granted there is a place for fortune, but where, pray, has Promelus vanished, or Panopeus, who endured these fruitless labors?
OEN. I imagine they have both made an end to their afflictions by the noose. In words alone I first promised to give my daughter to this one, and then to that. Both were eager for the marriage, but I only hoped they would be delayed. But then I invented a way to cut off the princes’ hopes of such a prospect: that my daughter would be the prize for a wrestling-match I established. When these men wretchedly said they couldn’t endure this, I rejected them as scarcely worthy of my daughter.
PROM. Our quarry is held by woven nets on every side. Panopeus, make your attack.
PAN. You treacherous, faithless person! For Promelus and Panopus to perish by the noose, unworthy of your affection, unworthy of your daughter!
PROM. “They should only be delayed” until a fit day for the wedding. Is the court of a king (which is the proper home of Jove, sincere, holy, pure) to be a place of treachery?
PAN. So was the Calydonian girl a mere mask of piety?
PROM. A procuress for her father’s crime? Oh the gods on high!
PAN. Let Megaera add her hateful torches to those of Hymenaeus, an evil that replays broken faith.
PROM. You inhospitable Tantalus.
PAN. And a monster of your age.
PROM. Disgrace of men.
PAN. Shame of kings.
OEN. Get away, you ignoble pair, without any effort I endure your strange tantrums, and quickly prepare your flight from here, or I’ll give you as prey to Hercules. It pleases me to deceive by fraud timid dullness.
PAN. We hand you over to new Furies for the punishment, my native homeland will give me a consort for my bed.
PROM. Let us bear this assault of adverse fortune with moderation: with our old love lost, let us, having gained in experience, place our new one better.
BOTH. May Venus favor our undertakings! [Exit.]

SCENE x
OENEUS, PERIVIA, DEIANIRA, HERCULES, ACHELOUS, PHILARCHUS AND OTHERS

ACH. I keep my promises:for, had I not given Alcides my word, with difficulty I should allow my horn to leave thus, whose innate powers Mother Nature has adopted, scorning her own. For in this horn (I speak of wonders, not lying) whatever can be hoped for suddenly thrives by its proper virtue, the gift of Father Liber, Ceres’ gift of crops, the feasts of Autumn, and Flora’s garlands. Thus their flavor excites our taste, their scent our noses, and their color delights our sight.
OEN. Thus now the rites are performed, and at length let us celebrate the day itself with novel festivals. Let Plenty favor our banquets, Bacchus crown our goblets with strong wine, and Ceres adorn our tables. I wish that only ’aughter preside over the wedding. For you two I wish that your marriage turn out well, and I wish you the peace of the marriage bed.
HERC. Let the supreme father nod his consent to your prayers!
PER. But I too, my stepdaughter, hope for numerous offspring for you. I pray that Lucina grant you easy birthings, and that Venus bless your bower.
DEI. And may the Fates prolong your life, until you may happily see your grandchildren.
GOR. I hope, my sister, that you dominate your husband.
ACH. And I know full well that your joys will be enhanced with Achelous being present. Alcides, can you justly accuse me of violated faith? I keep my promises with steadfastness, for your honor I dedicate this recovered horn in your honor as a prize.
HERC. Achelous, I acknowledge that your honor is safe and sound, yet I do not ask for this horn as a gift due my honor or as a victory prize, but allow me to call it a token of your affection.
ACH. My affection is compelled, loyalty holds me bound.
HERC. Now I would wish you would consider whatever is mine to be yours.
ACH. If this should be permitted —
HERC. My bedmate always excepted.
OEN. But come, Alcides, why are we making delays?
HERC. It remains to make our prayers to Feretrian Jove, I have promised my father all my spoils when, still a stranger, I was courting your daughter, should he happily favor my undertakings.
OEN. Which he has now brought to accomplished, today’s rejoicing bear ample witness.
HERC. This I acknowledge. My prayers will not be in vain, I shall pay deserved honors to my father, surpassing hecatombs of bulls and sacrifices of cattle. Like a sacrificial priest, at his blazing altars I shall humbly dedicate this horn to the honor of my father.
OEN. Let it be escorted, indeed let our whole throng of marching men make for the temple, being of a single mind. Let a solemn song resound with Jupiter’s holy praises. (Exeunt.)

EPILOGUE
PONOPHILUS, ANCHINAEUS

PON. Sturdy Hercules overcame nimble Achelous, industrious labor conquered empty wit. Alcides has gained his Deianira, and now labor acquires its learning. Now, Anchinoeus, acknowledge you are bested, confess you are beaten.
ANCH. Knowledge, I confess, is yours, at length you may enjoy it. Have a care to dwell upon your books, you austere bookworm, never sated by learning and reading more. When you have learned all which you have in your head, you should ponder it by yourself, and please yourself alone. But my merry invention, delights others while it is giving me pleasure.
PON. Whom does it please? Only yourself. Unless I bring something to the light itself, unless I myself give it life — But let me alone a moment, I pray, while I dedicate this horn to him who is really my father.
ANCH. You’ll dedicate this, which my brain created? Will the glory of this invention be ascribed to you?
PON. It will be enough that you thought of it, I added its life. It’s mine, hold your peace if you don’t want to be overwhelmed again. Victorious Alcides dedicated it to his father, and I, victorious, to mine: let your hand accept this sacrifice to Jove.
ANCH. [To the audience.] But you, honest judges, know that this is my contrivance and my invention. You will be fair, and you will give the honor to me.
PON. You know full well that this is my work. Give me the palm, if my labor should please.
ANCH. Give me your palms, if my wit pleases.
PON. I perceive you are juster than that. I would prefer that neither of us bear off the palm which both are seeking.
ANCH. I perceive your are kinder that. I if this seems good to you, let the palm be given to both. Thus it is given to neither. (Exeunt.)

THE END