SURDA, TORCOL, BAIULUS

SUR. I, baiule. Hic ego ut maneam! Curre, curre.
TOR. Tene, tene.
SUR. Perii.
TOR. Fures, fures.
SUR. Interii. 5
BA. Oime, casu obteror.
SUR. Ferte, cives, suppetias.
TOR. Atqui arcam et cuncta hae inspexero, ne me quid expilaveris. Quot
servi, tot fures.
SUR. Mea sunt omnia. Scrutare, scrutare, ut lubet. 10
TOR. En dotem uxoriam! Pupas, crepundia, fistulam, corallinum.
SUR. Haec meis servo liberis: bellos parituram scio.
TOR. Portentum! Ut mula parias? Ecquid amplius? Hui corymbion,
speculum, pigmenta! Simia etiam fuco illinit se.
SUR. Ad missam quo bellior veniam, soleo fucare me. Vultum habeo, 15
perinde ac aliae, diis gratiae, nec invenustum. Omnes prosceniae
sumus: celamus postscaenia.
TOR. Parum admodum surripuit mihi.
SUR. Non recte tibi iam suspecta videor.
TOR. Demulcenda mihi est, ne irata facinora vulget mea. 20
SUR. Aufer palpationes. Nubam hodie, haud mansero. Nubam.
TOR. Triconem uxorem ducere te?
SUR. Nolle me ducere innuis; annon? Esto: si non nubam perditi, nubam
forsan equiti. Ecquis scit?
TOR. Trico te verberabit. 25
SUR. Verberaturum me virum indicas: quam te malim.
TOR. Cedo tuam mihi dextram.
SUR. Aliter meritus es; sed tamen tene et vale.
TOR. Signora, vale.
SUR. Ut nunc blande salutat! 30
TOR. Vale.
SUR. Eamus, baiule. Nunc ibo ad amitam; post id, si non
illum, certum est, maritum alicubi quaesiero mihi. Vale.
TOR. Tranquilla est; gaudeo. Nunc iam ad Rosabellam eo: sollicite
servabo hodie. [Exeunt.] 35

24. sit e: corr. Hawkinsus 27. Cede e: corr. Hawkinsus 35. Exit e: corr. Hawkinsus

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SURDA, TORCOL, PORTER

SUR. Get going, porter! That I should be staying here! Run, run!
TOR. Stay, stay.
SUR. I’m ruined.
TOR. Thieves, thieves.
SUR. I’m dead.
POR. Alas, I’m destroyed by this calamity.
SUR. Bring aid, burghers.
TOR. I’ll inspect your chest and all this stuff, lest you plunder me. As many
servants, so many thieves.
SUR. Everything’s mine. Look, look as you wish.
TOR. And your dowry! Dolls, rattles, a whistle, a little chunk of coral.
SUR. I’m saving these for my children. I know I’ll give birth to fine ones.
TOR. A miracle! A mule give birth? Anything else? Hey, rouge, a mirror,
cosmetics. Even an ape adorns itsel.
SUR. I’m used to making myself pretty, so I look nicer when I go to Mass.
I have a face, same as alll women. I have a face, and (gods be praised) not an
unlovely one. We are all onstage, we hide what’s backstage.
TOR. She’s stolen nothing from me.
SUR. Now I seem to have been suspected unjustly.
TOR. I must soothe her lest she reveal my crimes.
SUR. Away with your flatteries. I’ll marry today. I won’t stay. I’ll marry.
TOR. Trico marry you?
SUR. You deny he wants to marry me? So be it — if I won’t marry a rogue,
maybe I’ll marry a knight. Who knows?
TOR. Trico will beat you.
SUR. You speak of a husband who’ll beat me — I’d prefer him to you.
TOR. Give me your hand.
SUR. You deserve otherwise. But take it and farewell.
TOR. Farewell, senora.
SUR. How politely he addresses me now!
TOR. Farewell.
SUR. Let’s go, porter. Now I’ll to go my aunt. After that, if not him, then
I’ll hunt for a husband somewhere. Farewell.
TOR. She’s calm. I’m happy. Now I’ll go to Rosabella, I’ll treat her kindly
today. [Exeunt.]