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DOROTHEA, VINCE, NELL, RICHARDUS
DOR. All-haile to my native country, and this citty
Of
Burdegale, from whence I took my birth.
’Tis now an
age of fiveteene yeares compleat 2940
Since
Dorothea saw here Theodorus,
Or Antonius
received his mothers blessing.
I heard that
they were taken in the warrs,
And never
since have I enioy’d my selfe,
But now I
hope to banish greife away, 2945
And wipe of
sorrow with the teares of ioy.
But why doe
I linger thus? For Catharina
And
Antoninus staye at th’ inn together
Exhausted,
scarce able to lift a foote.
Now I’le
provide a coach to fetch them hither. 2950
VIN. Good
Madame, speake our language. Here’s Nell and I, and a
great many more understand not a word what you say. What shall we doe
in this country?
DOR. Why,
Vince, understand you nothing yet?
VIN. Scarce
a word, yet I was in France once before. 2955
DOR. Nor
you neither, Nell?
NELL No
truly. I would I were at home at London. They speake
finely forsooth there.
DOR. Yes,
you understand a few words, I taught you something.
What is caput? 2960
NELL A
head forsooth.
DOR. Well
sayd, Nell What is manus?
NELL A
hand forsooth.
DOR. What
is brachium, Nell? Nell, say.
VIN. Nell,
’tis a horse toole. 2965
NELL What
is it?
VIN. A horse toole, say.
NELL. Shall
I forsooth?
DOR. Say
then what is brachium?
NELL. A
horse toole forsooth. 2970
DOR. Fie
on thee.
VIN. Ha
he.
NELL I
indeed forsooth Vince told me so.
DOR. Vince
is an unhappy boy. Well, yee shall both learne.
VIN. I,
but it will be such a while first. 2975
DOR. Why,
boy?
VIN. They
say that women teach this language best, and it will be
this sixe yeares first, ere I shall get mee a mistresse.
DOR. I
will be thy mistresse my selfe.
VIN. I,
but old women never pronounce well. But I pray you, madame, 2980
let mee alone with my mother’s tongue. I love my naturall speech, I am
a gentleman.
DOR. This
is a fine tongue for a gentleman.
VIN. I
know a tongue worth two of it.
DOR. What’s
that? 2985
VIN. Marry,
a neate’s tongue with venison sauce.
DOR. Thou
art a very wagge, Vince. Well I’le goe find out thy
maister Theodorus house, they say it is neere the pallace and that is
here.
I’le knock and see. Ticke, tocke. Does Theodorus live here?
RICH. Yes. 2990
DOR. Is he
within?
RICH. He is
within, what would you with him?
DOR. Pray
lett me speak with him.
RICH. Wilt
please you to walk in.
DOR. Little
ones — 2995
NELL
Forsooth.
DOR. This
is your maister Theodorus’ house, come with me.
NELL I
forsooth.
VINCE, NELL [They remain behind.]
VIN. Stay, Nell, stay.
NELL I
cannot. O Lord you are such another truble, I thinke. 3000
VIN. O
Lord, you are such another trull, I thinke.
NELL I
tell you I must waite of my lady.
VIN. I
tell you, you must waite of me.
NELL I
will sir.
VIN. How
now, maid? Where is your coursie? Downe — downe — 3005
downe — descend — lower yet — lower yet — sweepe mee the ground with
your breech and swimme away.
NELL Now
I’le goe.
VIN. Nell,
Nell, didst thou ever see the man in the moone?
NELL No,
faith, pri’thee let me see it. 3010
VIN. Looke
heere. [Chops her under the chin.]
NELL Beshrew
your heart bloud, you had almost made me bite
my tongue in two.
VIN. What
skil’t for eares and tongues in this country? We are
both deafe and dumbe here. 3015
NELL It’s
a strange country. All the little barnes can speake French
here, and yet we cannot.
VIN. So
doe the pigs too.
NELL What?
VIN. Ouy,
ouy, ouy. 3020
NELL Here’s
one thing I shall never endure.
VIN. What,
I prithee?
NELL They
say we maides must drinke nothing but water.
VIN. That’s
true, but ’tis no matter, you’le make water though you
drinke nothing but wine. 3025
NELL Fie,
Vince, how you talke!
VIN. As
though you doe not! What a simpering’s heere!
NELL Vince,
Vince, they weare fine cloathes here.
VIN. I,
but terrible foule shirts. But, Nell, you must be very bold.
NELL Why,
are their women so? 3030
VIN. Yes,
all with their blind byards.
NELL You are alwaies flouting.
VIN. You
must learne to mocke too, frumpe your owne father here
upon occasion.
NELL I
have a pretty wit for a frumpe, though I say it. But, good 3035
Vince, if you love me, take heed of one thing.
VIN. What’s
that?
NELL Of
eating grapes, for feare you take a surfet.
VINI
love them not, quoth the foxe. I would I could come by them.
NELL Faith,
you’l bee sicke then. 3040
VIN. I
sicke? What hearte of oake, body of brasse? I am not such
a puler as Mistris Catharine to bee sea sicke, and have a coache sent
for
me; well fare old bell mettal.
NELL List,
I thinke I am called. Nay fie, master Vince, you spoyle my
ruffe: faith, I’le give you no more sweete meates when I goe to the
closset. 3045
VIN. Peace,
Nell, I’le carry you in by the arme after the French
fashion. O my madamoselle.
NELL O
my monseiur.
VIN. Goe,
yonder comes a mad man. [Exeunt.]
IGNORAMUS, PECUS, DULMAN
IGN. The devill of these brothers, and all that
knavish fraternity. If 3050
had any fire in my conscience I should burne this monestary in the mind
I
am in, yet ’tis felony, I thinke. I should not burne it. But goe with
me,
you great knaves, from your monestary to Westmonestary if you dare for
your eares. If I catch you there, Ile —
DUL. What
now, is he in a fume still? Master, look here, I have freed 3055
Pecus.
PEC. I hope,
master, you’le trounce Torcol for this.
IGN. “You’le
trounce”? I have been trounced to day as I think never
man in this world was trounced. For this thing alone I shall ne’re
endure
the face of a brother nor a cleark while I have a day to live. 3060
DUL. Master,
where were all your daggers then se defendendo?
IGN. They
took my daggers from me and carryd ’em away in
violation of the King’s peace and contrary to the dignity of his crowne
and person. They left my three scabberds but quite spoild my
ruffe and
this bond here. 3065
DUL. I
sweare ’tis cancelld.
IGN. Nay,
they would make me doe a thousand thinges. One he would
have me cry and in spight of my nose he made me cry. Another he mum’d
I not what and I mum’d after him. Whatsoevere I said ’twas presently
the devill with them. 3070
DUL. How,
how say you by that now? In good trueth this was a most
terrible day. Ile note it in red letters.
IGN. In red,
foole? Thats the feast of all saintes. Ile have’t in black for
the feast of all devills.
PEC. You’le
meet with them all one day, I hope. 3075
IGN. Ile
have them in premunire.
DUL. Doe,
master, and beg this fryery of the king.
IGN. But
that there were certaine English men which I had made an
agreement betweene came into the monestary by chance and certefied them
that I was not indevilld nor spirritually posess’d, by my faith I
thinke they 3080
had murdred me.
DUL. How say
you by that now?
IGN. Soe
upon their words I purchased my liberty.
PEC. This is iust my case, master, this is a devilish
towne.
IGN.
Burdeux, Burdeux, in the name of the devill Ile away to morrow, 3085
and if I get Burdeux once on my back, if e’re I turne agin to Burdeux,
Ile
give ’em leave to geld me. Now Ile to that wry neckt knave Torcol, and
if
he don’t give me my six hundred crownes and good satisfaccon Ile take
him in hand another way.
PEC. You
have him upon the buttock now for false imprisonment. 3090
IGN. Come,
courage, lett us three stout men goe together, nos somes trois.
DUL.
Courage, master, feare nothing; we’le goe with a vengeance.
But lett’s make hast, there’s somebody coming. [Exeunt.]
TRICO, THEODORUS, DOROTHEA
TRI. I mett with my master Antonius but now, and he
was soe
courteous to me, and gave me such sweet words, that I knew not how to 3095
be angry with him. But who are those? My master Theodorus embracing a
woman. Ha he, my old master in love too, I am glad of this.
THE. I am
soe much rapt wih ioy, that I can’t afford a pause betweene
kissing and embracing my little heart.
DOR. Not is
it lesse pleasure to me then to you, my Theodorus.3100
THE. Look,
“my little heart” and “my Theodorus,” ha he.
THE. Most
welcome, my Dorothea, your coming has put life into me.
TRI. Most
unwelcome Dorothea, your coming has put death into me.
DOR. And
that you may be the more ioyfulll I pray you send your coach to
the haven to fetch Catharina and Antoninus hither. 3105
THE. Why,
Antoninus is newly gone into the citty, and Catharina is
now within.
DOR. How
soe, when I lift them both together but iust now at the haven
and I am but newly come to you since?
TRI. Now,
Trico, goe thou and hang thy selfe. 3110
THE. I will
call her hither that you may see her.
DOR. It is
impossible.
TRI.
Unlucky! Why did they not break their neckes on the iourny?
DOR. I am
soe weary coming from the port I scarse can sett one foot
before another. 3115
THE. Hoe,
who’s there? Bid Catharina come hither.
TRI. Thou
hast entangled thy selfe finely, Trico. Thou art counted a
crafty shifting fellow, but what will you doe now? Turn me this way? No
helpe
there? Turn me that way? Same thing, all hope is lost.
THE. Hoe
Catharina, come hither. 3120
TRI. O me,
but what is foredestined, Trico, will come to passe.
THE. Call
Trico too if he be within.
TRI. Trico
too? But Trico’s not within. Ile play least in sight.
ROSABELLA, THEODORUS, DOROTHEA
ROS.What’s your pleasure, sir?
THE.
Dorothea, look you, here is Catharina. 3125
DOR. Where
is Catharina?
THE. You see
her standing heere, and yet you ask?
DOR. You are
deceivd, husband, this is not Catharina.
ROS. O me,
what shall I doe?
THE. Whither
turne you? What say you now? 3130
ROS. Are
you not my mother in law?
DOR. Good
lord, who are you trow?
ROS. Good
Lord, who are you trowe?
THE. Look on
her closely.
DOR. Sweet
heart, for what should I look on her? I know her not, nor 3135
never saw her before.
ROS. Oh that
I were dead now, “it is a happiness to dye e’re there be
cause to wish for it.”
DOR. Upon my
creditt, husband, shee is not Catharina.
THE. Who are
you then? Whyt speak you not? 3140
ROS. If
she will not be my mother in law, alasse sir, I cannot helpe it.
DOR. Thou
art a good one, I warrant thee.
THE. Who art
thou? Speak, for now the trueth will be knowne.
Why dost not answeare?
ROS. Good
sir, I know not what to answer. 3145
THE. Dost
think to delude me with thy impudence, thou strumptt?
ROS. Whatsoever
I am, sir, I am not dishonest: the respect I beare unto
you makes me forbeare to answer these false and foule tearmes.
DOR. I
pray you doe not dissemble, then I will speake for thee.
THE. Dost
thou thinke to make my house to boile in whorerdome, 3150
and shall I suffer this infamy and filthy disgrace? Noe, thou shalt not
goe
unrevenged.
ROS. Ahime!
I was borne in an unfortunate houre.
DOR. Confesse,
I prithee doe.
THE. Now she
has noe other pretence, she thinkes her teares will 3155
helpe. But your crocodile teares shall deceive you. But why doe I not
punish and expiate this wickedness? Wilt thou not confess? Not yet?
Thou impudent woman!
ROS. I
beseech you, sir, forgive me and Ile confess all. I am
unhappy Rosabella, but chast however. 3160
THE. Now we shall know the trueth.
DOR. Who
brought thee hither? Goe to, speak truly.
ROS.
Antonius.
DOR. It
greeves me to thinke he should be such a one.
THE. This
was it. O’ my life he came back agin from the ship, 3165
and gott a counterfeit mole on his face, and soe went under the name of
Antoninus, did he not?
ROS. Yes sir.
THE. O
cursed time, when children may delude their parents with
security. But thou hast inticed him to this, thou harlott. 3170
ROS. Noe
harlott, sir. I beseech you pardon me, I am Antonius wife.
THE. His
wife? Thou Antonius wife? Take heed what thou say’st for
feare I slitt thy tongue.
ROS. “What
is done, sir, canot be undone,” therefore I humbly begg your
pardon and speake more milder to me “since there is noe remedy.” 3175
THE. But Ile
find a remedy in spight of fate, or thy death shall make
a divorce.
ROS. “It is
a good death that will extinguish soe bad a life.”
THE. Oh
Dorothea, our sonne Antonius has undone himself for ever.
DOR. I
perceive is noe perfect ioy in this world. 3180
THE. Were I
not best make her an example to others, think you?
DOR. You
may, husband, but gently.
THE. Gently,
to her that corrupted my sonne, for whom I had
provided soe rich a wife. and soe nobly discended?
DOR.
“Patience is a remedy for every greife.” 3185
THE. Pardon
me, my Dorothea, if I entertaine you not with that
respect I ought, for I am much troubled in my mind. I know you are
very weary of your iourny, I pray walk in and rest your selfe., and
send out my Moore Banacar to me.
DOR. I will,
but, husband, pray don’t vex your selfe too much. [Exit.] 3190
THE. O
miserable man that I am,
I’ave lived
even too long to see this day,
But Ile
expell the cause of this sad greife,
And if I
live, she shall not live an houre.
ROS. I know
not his intents, but I am prepared come what will. 3195
TRICO, BANACAR, THEODORUS, ROSABELLA
TRI. Now, Trico, come forth of thy denn and appeare
like a shadow out
of the iawes of Orcus and see what Theodorus does.
BAN. Would
you have any thing with me, sir?
THE. With
whom else but with thee, my Banacar, for I know thee
to be a trusty servant. 3200
BAN. Sir,
and I know you to be a loving master.
THE. If thou
hast thought me soe heretofore, now thou shalt have
more reason, Banacar, if thou wilt doe this one thing for me.
BAN. Sir,
doubt not any thing that lyes in me. Ile venture my life to doe
your service. 3205
THE. Venture
thy life? God forbid, I had rather thou take anothers.
TRI. Sure
’tis me he meanes.
THE. Behold
one that has defild my house, and raised such a scandall
that canot be taken away but with her life. Therefore, my Banacar, this
nocturnall crime must needs be removed and put to death by thy hands, 3210
stained with the dark collour of night.
TRI. Ile
hasten with all speed to my master Antonius and acquaint him
with this that is intended against Rosabella and me, that if it be
possible he
may save our lives. [Exit Tricio.]
THE. What
now, my Banacar, dost thou retreat? Why dost not 3215
answeare me?
BAN. Oh sir,
should I kill any one that am made a Christian by
you? Master, you taught me otherwise. Wherefore I beseech you lay
downe this enterprise; “you’le better overcome by good advise then rash
anger.”
THE. What
dost thou feare? Ile secure thee from all danger, therfore 3220
take resolution, my Banacar, and inflict what death thou wilt. What if
thou
shouldst throw her headlong into the sea or shut her up in some uncouth
place to famish?
BAN. If I
needs must dye for’t, lett me dye but once;
To perrish
by a lingring death is many deathes. 3225
THE. I care
not what it be, soe it be out of hand.
ROS. Loe
here I stand an inocent sacrifice
Willing to
dye, for without Antonius
I cannot
live; I’m soe besett with greife
That for his
sake Ile gladly yeald to death. 3230
THE. Or you
shall be forcd to it. Why dost not obey me?
ROS. Doe it, Banacar. I knew thee well at Fessa.
Thou serv’st
my father once, I well remember,
And when he
dyed he gave thy freedome to thee.
Therefore
doe it, Banacar, obey thy master 3235
But kill mee
gently, prithee.
BAN. Oh me,
this is Rosabella.
ROS. The
very same thou seest, miserable Rosabella.
BAN. Sir,
she is my loving master Alfonsos daughter,
Whom
sometime I serv’d at Fessa while he lived. 3240
Wherefore I
most humbly beseech you, master,
Doe not lay
this punishment on her.
THE. Is this
a trick of thine, thou rascall? Either kill her, or I will kill
thee.
BAN. Then
kill me if you please. Have I a heart that was to execute 3245
soe foule an art on soe sweet a natur’d mistress to me, and she whose
father
gave me once my freedom?
THE. Tut,
these are fables; shall I be forced to doe it my selfe? Never
look soe, for it shall be done.
ROS. It
needs not, sir, for now with too much greife 3250
I feele my
panting heart to rend a sunder.
Farewell
Antonius, my deare Antonius,
Farewell for
ever. [She swounds.]
THE. Your
dissembling shall not serve your turne.
BAN. Oh
master, she is dead. 3255
THE. She
counterfeits, thou knave, she counterfeits and soe dost
thou, but I shall make her leave these trickes.
ANTONIUS, THEODORUS, BANACAR, ROSABELLA
ANT. Oh I am undone, I’me come too late, shee’s
slaine.
Here she
lyes dead, as cold as clay it selfe.
Oh that I
could breath my soule into thee, 3260
Unhappy
Rosabella, but me most unhappy
For whose
sake only thou hast suffer’d this.
Why had he
not inflicted it on mee
That was the
cause of it? But thy poore heart
Was guilty
of nought but love; what mean’st thou then? 3265
THE.
What means hee for him selfe?
ANT. Art
gone? Art gone, my life? Then I will hence
And pay the
ransome of thy innocence.
THE. I am
sore affraid of him. Sonne, whither goest thou?
ANT. Am I
your sonne? Or you my father now, 3270
That have
comitted such a cruelty?
But he whom
you have not suffred now to live,
Doe not
forbid to dye.
THE. Art
thou well in thy witts trow?
ANT. Well? I
am not well nor don’t desire it. How can I when your 3275
desperatnes has made me desperate?
THE.
Certainly thou art madd.
ANT. I
confesse I am,
It ’twere a
madnes in me not to be madd
Now that my
Rosabella, my life is dead, 3280
Who while
she liv’d was soe beyond her sex.
Surely you
couldn’t but turne your eyes a side
From this
vile massacre had you beheld
This beauty,
and sweet savouring innocence.
I know your
heart could ne’re have don’t. But, father, 3285
I beseech
you graunt me now my last request,
That since
you wouldn’t allow us both one bed,
One grave
may serve us when we both are dead.
THE. Before
thou dyest, sonne, learn what ’tis to live.
ANT. How
should I when you have taken away my life? 3290
THE. Sonne,
pray come hither.
ANT. Come
not neere me least the fury of my youth doe that which
has been done by the fury of your age.
THE. What
dost meane to doe? Art thou resolv’d to dye then?
ANT. As sure
as death it selfe. 3295
THE. Oh love
now, and I will graunt what e’re thou wilt desire.
ANT. Now you
will graunt me any thing,
When there
is nothing left for me but death.
THE. We have not stirr’d her yet, wee may fetch life
in her agin;
lett’s try. 3300
ANT.
Fetch life in her agin? Sure you are mad now,
Her soule’s
fled too high to returne agin,
Therefore
Ile come to thee, my Rosabella.
I come, I
come.
THE. Oh my
deare sonne, hold, spare thy life, now hold. 3305
Look but on
these gray haires, or kill me first,
For I have
liv’d a perfect age. But thou
Art in the
flowre and blossome of thy youth.
ROS. Where
am I now?
THE. Harke, harke, she is come to her selfe, she
revives. O this 3310
unexpected ioy!
ROS. Where
art thou, Antonius?
ANT. Oh my
dear’st heart, dost breath agin? Then thou hast saved my
life.
THE. Sonne,
did you thinke I would have kill’d her? 3315
ROS. I have
been dreaming of the mournfullest dreame.
Me thoughts I was dead, for he would have killd me.
ANT. Feare
not, my ioy.
THE. It
ne’re shall bee.
ANT. Oh me,
most happy now in that thou livest. I know my selfe to live. 3320
THE. And I
am most ioyfull you have recover’d life.
ROS. I think
I live, but ’tis by your permission.
ANT. Now
father, I beseech you to allow of what the fates decree and
be not offended though this be my wife.
THE. Sonne,
be content a while, it may be she shall be thine. 3325
ANT. It may
be, sir? It can’t be otherwise.
THE. The
fury of a sonne overcometh the rage of a father.
We were both too passionate, but he is my child And I were very
unaturall to wrong him.Tell me, sonne, what dowry or portion has she?
ANT. A large
one, sir. Nobility and beauty. 3330
THE. But
“nobility and beauty fetch naught at market”. I see she is
beautifull enough, but how dost know her to be noble? She seemes to be
a stranger, for truly she is unknowne to me.
ANT. Though
I were silent her graces speake her enough,
But shee’l
shew’t better if you will give her leave, sir. 3335
THE.
Ile not contradict her. Speak then, but speak really.
ROS. If I
say not the trueth, sir, lett Banacar confute me, who was
sometime my fathers servant.
THE. Didst
thou e’re serve her father? I think I have heard thee say so.
BAN. Yes,
sir, at Fessa before I cam to you, 3340
For
presently upon her fathers death
I went to
Portugall to seeke a fortune,
But finding
none I came into this country,
Where you
(as I am ever bound to acknowledge)
Have made me
both your servant and a Christian. 3345
THE.
’Tis well, now if she speake false doe you disproove her.
ROS. My father was Alfonso, a noble Portugall and
comander in the warr.
THE. Banacar.
BAN. ’Tis
right, sir.
ROS. He went
to Fessa to exercise the warrs 3350
And had me
with him, but within a while
He dyed, and
left me to my ucnles care,
Who was then
at Fessa upon his merchandize.
As we were
sayling back to Portugall,
We were
driven by the violence of the wind 3355
Upon these
coasts where we suffr’d shipwrack,
And here,
sir, we have lived ever since.
THE. Is this
all true, Banacar?
BAN. I think
it is for ought she knowes.
THE. Why,
dost thou know any thing that she does not? 3360
BAN. I
beleeve I doe, and if you please, sir, I will tell you all.
THE. Prithee
doe then.
BAN. Sir,
she was not the true daughter of Alfonso.
ROS.
Banacar, but even now thou didst confess it, and now wilt thou
deny it? 3365
ANT. Dost
forge lyes, thou deceitfull knave?
THE. Sonne,
hold your peace a little.
BAN. I tell
you true, sir, and if you please Ile tell you more.
THE. Proceed
then.
BAN. First
before I was Alfonso’s servant, I lived with a Portugall 3370
merchant that traffiqu’d in our country of Morisco, whose name was
Urtado.
From thence he tooke shipping for London by reason of his merchandise,
and
I went with him. But being there, he found trading somewhat dead, soe
that
he stole many English children to make sale of at Morisco. Now our shipp
lying at ancor on the Thames neere Depford, it happen’d that her nurse 3375
walked on the shore with her in her armes, and Urtado in a small boat
passing
by held her as best hee could in a faire discourse till at length the
silly nurse
(I know not her ends) shee had a mind to see our shipp. Soe my master
invited her willingly, and bringing her a board he brought her away with
many others that he sold at Morisco. But this Rosabella and me he sold
to 3380
Alfonso at Fessa, who because he wanted children adopted her his
daughter, being then about four yeere old. And hee strictly comanded me
that I should not devulge it to any, wherefore I conceal’d it, and
since the
death of my master Alfonso I never saw her untill now.
THE. But what became of her nurse that you speakest
of? 3385
BAN. Sir,
shee dyed a shipboard by the way.
THE. Dost
know what her name was?
BAN. Ursula.
THE. Ursula
and at Depford, I have great hopes of this. Did her nurse
never tell who she was? 3390
BAN. Yes, a
Londoner, an aldermans daughter and as I remember his
name was Manilius.
THE. Was it
not Manlius?
BAN. It was
soe, and they calld’ her Isabella.
THE. O God,
Isabella too! 3395
BAN. For
afterwards her supposed father changed her name to Rosabella.
THE. Depford
— Ursula — Manlius — Isabella — How all these signes meet
together for a trueth! I can scarce forbeare embracing thee, my lucky
boy. But dost remember any thing more?
BAN. Nothing
but only when the nurse dyed I gott away a little 3400
portrait in amber, which to this howre I carry about me for the rarenes
of
the worke.
THE. Lett me
see it, Banacar.
BAN. Looke
you, sir, this is it.
THE.
Antonius, come hither. Thou knowst that Manlius my wife
Dorothea’s husband had two daughters by a former wife, the one
Catharina 3405
(who is now Antoninus wife) and the other Isabella, which we appointed
for thee when thou wer’st but a child, for e’re thou couldst speak
plaine
thou wouldst call her wife, and she would call thee husband. When we
betrothd you we gave you each others pictures curiously cutt in amber,
and this is the very same which was then given to Isabella. Behold the 3410
effigies of you both. This represents you, that Isabella. See how your
hands are ioyn’d together in token of wedlock.Here you may behold
your faces, and these spread eageles are the symboles of your
marriage. See here the inscription of both your names, A and I,
that is Antonius and Isabella. 3415
ANT. Within,
sir, I have iust such another picture with I and A.
THE. That
shews Isabella and Antonius. Now I am confident this is the
very same Isabella that was soe long since betroth’d unto you.
ANT. Oh the
strangenes of this! I am even astonisht with ioy.
THE. Oh my
deare daughter Isabella, now give me leave though 3420
unworthy to embrace you.
ROS. “ Now
fortune favours us agin,” it comes to take us.
THE. It does
not come, “you are bending fortune to your will.”
ANT. Rosabella that wast Isabella before, now thou art
mine. I have
found thee once agin, and now I live agin. 3425
THE. ’Tis
well done, make much of one another as I of you both.
Oh sonne and daughter, I heartily crave your pardons for the act of
rashnes
I was going to doe.
ROS. If you
have done ought of ill, ’tis forgotten. This good you doe me
shall never be forgott. 3430
THE. How
sweetly she speakes! Oh Antonius, thou art a happy man.
ANT. I must
confess it. But, father, I beseech you forgive my folly in
deceiving you to day, for “love and discretion goe not still together.”
THE. You
have been discreet and soe has shee; it was my folly only,
therfore I aske your pardone. Oh Banacar, thou art farr wiser then I,
but if 3435
I don’t reward thee let me not live.
ANT. And I
too, Banacar.
ROS. But I
most of all.
BAN. I am
very glad it happen’d soe well through my meanes.
ANT. Sir,
lett me desire you to pardon Trico too. 3440
ROS. I pray,
sir, doe, for had it not been for him, I had now
been Ignoramus concubine.
THE. You and
hee deserve both this and all, and more then I can graunt.
TRICO, THEODORUS, ROSABELLA, BANACAR, VINCE
TRI. I have heard all the good newes in my corner,
now Ile goe forth
with confidence. Master, I heare my endeavours have succeeded well. 3345
Why doe not comend me, am not I an honest Trico now?
THE. Thou
art a good Trico, and happy that it happen’d thus.
TRI. Beleeve
me, sir, I am. I hate these lying deceitfull fellows with
my heart. I have dealt truly with Torcol and you to day, and still told
the trueth.
THE. Trico,
that’s true too, that thou hast been at the farme to day. 3450
TRI. Master,
that’s true too, with a mental reservation, for though I were
here, my mind was at the farme.
THE. Ha, he,
how learnedly he speakes!
TRI. I
learn’d something out of Cupes bookes. I have studyed a comedy
if you please shall be acted at the wedding. It is called Loyola. 3455
THE. Get on
w’ye! Loyola has a tragic ringe to it!
ANT. Father,
that our wedding may not be solemnized with greefe,
I beseech you to give six hundred crownes to Torcol, Isabella’s supposed
uncle, which he is to repay to Ignoramus that payd it to day for her.
THE. Son,
Ile give you that and more with a good will. Trico, take this 3460
chaine of gold and bring Torcol and Ignoramus to me. First give ’em
this
from me as a pledge of their satisfaccion, and invite all thy friends
and pleasant companions to a feaste to day, and likewise to morrow,
where we will reioyce and be merry, and there shall be noe cause of
sadnes.
TRI. Now,
sir, you speak like your selfe. You will raise your name 3465
and be famous.
THE. Ha, he,
give me thy hand, Trico , o’ my creditt I love thee.
TRI. Sir, if
I should not endeavour — But you little think what I meane,
well goe your wayes, I love you from the very center —
THE. My
Trico, my Banacar, Ile be beneficiall to you both. 3470
TRI. Your
little black boy Banacar, and Trico, master, how much are
we to be esteemed!
THE. Thou
sayst true. But prithee goe now.
TRI. By the
faith of this chaine, Ile goe now to Torcol and to Ignoramus
and bring ’em both to you as speedily as I can. [Exit Trico, enter
Vince.] 3475
VIN. Sir,
my lady would desire you to come in to Master
Antonine and Mistress Catharine, they are new come in, the coach is at
the
other gate.
THE. My pretty well-faced boy, give me thine hand. 3480
VIN. Manus? O
that’s a hand. Nell can tell you what’s brachium too.
THE. Come,
Isabella, lett’s goe in,
That
Dorothea may participate
This
unexpected ioy decreed by fate. [Exeunt. Vince and Antonius remain.]
PYROPUS, ANTONIUS, VINCE
PYR. Yonder he is agin. I am affraid of him, yet I
will call him.
Hoe, hola. 3485
VIN. Is
your name Hola, sir? Here’s one called Hola or Hayes.
ANT. Who is
it?
PYR. Sir, I
beseech you restore my clothes.
ANT. O
Pyropus, thou shalt have ’em presently, come along with me.
PYR Now he
is himselfe agin, are not you Antonius now? 3490
ANT. I am
soe. Prithee come hither, come in I say.
PYR. He is
more courteous then he was. I suspect him shrewdly. He has
cozened mee in the English manner, now he wants to catch me again to
cozen mee in the French way.
ANT. Come my
good friend, why keep you soe farr of? 3495
VIN. He
lookes fearful and peaking, like one that meanes to
steale deere.
ANT. Prithee
what art affraid of?
PYR. Of your
courtesy, truly, I had reather loose one halfe then be beat agin.
ANT. Upon my
faith thou shalt not. 3500
PYR. Upon
thy faith of this ring shaln’t I?
ANT. But now
in good faith. Necessity often times makes us doe that
which is unfitt. I hope you wil pardon me, but now the case is altred
with me.
PYR. May I
beleeve his faire words trow?
ANT. Very
safely, come. 3505
VIN. What
a shie buzzard it is! A man can scarse get a shoote at him
with a stalking horse, hee hath beene scared sure.
PYR. I see
neere a mole in your face now.
ANT. Noe,
noe, there’s none, feare it not. Here, take you this coat in
the meane while. 3510
VIN. Shall
Heus have your coate, sir? I would hee would goe to dice
with me for it. I have high men and low men here. O ye little
French
pages, I’le sting you i’faith.
ANT. Come,
lett’s goe. You shall sup with me, and Ile give you the
rest of your clothes with interest. 3515
PYR. I will venture it for once. [Exit Antonius,
Pyropus.]
VIN. What
sport shall I have now? If ’twere not too late, I would goe
to loggets with the mariners. Well, I’le goe passe commers by, and
snach
hatts with the pages, or I’le goe throw stones at some body or other. O
I love that sport alife; but first I’le goe and pinne this foxe taile
at some 3520
bodies back. O fine and patt, heere comes company.
TORCOL, TRICO, DULMAN, VINCE, MUSAEUS
TRI. Belleve me, ’tis true as I tell you.
IGN. Bein,
bon, pour leur face.
TOR. I am
glad Antonius his Rosabella is found to be Isabella. Now
there’s some hopes wee shall have our mony agin. I knew it before how 3525
she was stolne out of England and that my brother Alfonso adopted her
his
daughter, but I conceald this and many other things in hope of gaine.
IGN. If
Rosabella was Antonius spouse before et per consequant his
covert baron, I am glad I did not marry her, for now if I had beene
marryed to her I should have lost her per defaltam. 3230
TRI. Per
defaltam, counsellour? You are right.
IGN. Clyent,
therefore I am content if thy master en ce cas de disseisin
pay me my six hundred crownes.
TRI. By the
faith of this chaine hee’le pay you any thing you shall desire.
VIN. A
pox on’t, ’twill not sticke; lend mee a great pin some body. O 3535
heere’s one..
TOR. In the
meane time, ’till your master pay the mony, give mee
that chaine, Trico.
IGN. Give it
you, give it mee, donnez moy, ou ie feray distresse.
TOR. You
shall have it, señor, you shall have it. 3540
TRI. But
soft you sir, first wee’le be all reconcild and good friends.
Give me your hand, señorTorcol.
TOR. Because
thou hast deceiv’d me soe cuningly here’s my hand.
TRI.
Counsellour, give me your hand too, and you shall have this chaine
for a pledge. 3545
IGN. Goe to,
clyent, put it about my neck; soe now I give thee my hand,
and to thee, Torcol, now wee’l make reconcilement.
TOR. O
señor, beso las manos.
IGN.
But stay, Ile touch it first to see if it be lawfull gold. Oh,
bonum est aurum, now Ile be infinite courteous ’till I gett my
crownes. 3550
Afterward I shall doe as I shall think fitt in my owne discretion. Oh my
client, take both hands, I doe embrace thee.
TRI. Oh
counsellour, that you knew but how I lov’d you!
IGN. I
am full of curtesie now, and full of craft. For all this, if I
catch them at Westminster Ile tickle them. Who’s behind me
there, hah? 3555
VIN. O
sir, I perceive you are mine owne countriman, I have a Latine
to make, for God sake helpe me. What’s Latine for an alehouse keeper?
IGN. Tiplator cervisiae, boy.
VIN. I
thanke you sir, and what’s Latine for a tester?
IGN. Sixpence,
Anglice a tester. 3560
VIN. Why
this is sixepence for a tester, what have I got by it? And
what’s Latine for a shoomaker, sir?
IGN. In
dicto comitatu, shoomaker.
VIN. And
what, sir is a velvet cap upon the hinder part of a red
speckled hogs head? 3565
IGN. Byrlady
that’s hard, it is pileus de nigro velvet super occiput capitis
porci coloris red speckle.
VIN. I
can make as good Latine as this, in bas and bus,
and in orum
and orum; as thus, your worshipparum is a noddicockarum
in a
velvet capparum. 3570
IGN. Ile
tell your master, sirrah, ile bring you to a noune; your
hose goe downe.
VIN. Nay,
good sir, make me one Latine more: what’s a foxe taile pin’d
at a fooles backe? A foole is hic stultus, I know.
IGN. Is
it even so, indeed? A rod, a rod; what’s your masters name, 3575
sirrah?
VIN. As
in præsenti, sir, you know him well enough.
IGN. What?
Qui, quæ quod, heere i’faith? I’le tell your master.
What’s that they looke and laugh at, Dulman? What’s behind me
there?
DUL. O’ my
conscience ’tis a fox taile, you possess in fox taile now.
3580
Shall I whipp this knavish boy, master?
IGN. Prithee
doe if thou canst.
VIN. Come,
come if you dare; I have stones heere i’faith.
DUL. Will
you? Will you throw stones?
VIN. I
that I will. 3585
DUL. O
my shinnes!
VIN. ’That
was well hit, now I’le away. [Exit Vince.]
IGN. Don’t
fret it too much. Come, shall’s us goe and receive our crownes?
TOR. With a
good will.
TRI. My
master will have you both supp with him. 3590
IGN. Qu’il
soit, alons.
TRI. Dulman,
give me thy hand too.
DUL. A
plague on you, you are Mendoza.
TRI. Sack
and sugar now, Dulman.
DUL. Well,
Ile pardon you for your sugar. 3595
IGN. Come
Musaeus, now you are your own master. Alons, alons
[They go all into Theodorus house.]
VICTUALLER, CUPES, COLA, BAGGAGES, POLLA
VICT. Look you, here’s that will invite a good
stomack, but you must pay
well for it.
CUP. Here,
take the mony, and make me a neat supper presently. Lett me 3600
be hansomly served with some little conceited banquet, in the meane
while
wee’le sport away the time.
VICT. It
shall be done out of hand. [Exit.]
CUP. Come my
pretty fidler, lett’s have a merry song.
COL. Come a
little thousand of you, Ile absolve you all. [Enter Polla.] 3605
POL. I was
told my husband came to the taverne here but iust now with
his wenches. If I find him Ile make him the miserablest man alive.
CUP. I am
utterly undone if she see me. My confessour, hide me under
your gowne a while till shee be gone.
COL. Come
then quickly, be nimble, and if she ask me for you, 3610
Ile not be knowne I saw you.
POL. O you
are those dainty minions that corrupt my husband. Away,
you harlotresses.
COL. I will
take this booke in my hand and make as though I were
studying hard. 3615
POL. I see
his companion there, his brother in iniquity. I know he is not
farr of. Cola, brother Cola, Cola I say, what a pox on’t. You heare me,
are
you deafe?
COL. Pray be
hgne, don’t interrupt me now, I am studying my
Lenten sermons. 3620
POL. Leave
your booke a while and come hither. I must speak with you.
COL. I
profess I am not at leisure now, therefore pray be gone. There’s
a good note slipt out of my head long of your prating.
POL. But
here me a little.
COL. Truly,
truly, you are too troublesome. 3625
POL. Then
tell me where my fine husband is. I am sure you know.
COL. How
should I know? He is not here, you see, yet I beleeve he
is in a brothers habitt were e’re he be.
POL. What,
then he does exorcize strange women in a brothers habitt?
That I were neere him now! But Ile fitt him. Come, brother, if you love
me, 3630
lett you and I go in together.
COL. I am very busy now, what shall I doe within?
POL. You
should give me such an exorcisme as my husband does the
other women. I like Talions law of revenge, quid pro quo.
COL. Oh fie
upon’t, don’t entertaine such an ill thought. 3635
POL. Is it
soe ill now? You told me heretofore it was a case of
conscience —
COL. What
case? Hold your toung I say.
POL. — that
if the husband have to doe with another woman, it is lawfull
for the wife to doe with another man. I remember your words, you said 3640
there was the same for Titius as for Sempronius.
COL. Did I
tell you soe? When?
POL. Oh how
strange you make it how! But the last time you lay with
me, you know it well enough.
COL. Peace,
for ’tis noe such thing truly. [Cupes pincheth him by the 3645
legges.] Oh, oh, ho.
POL. What
ayle you?
COL. I know
not, but I thinke I have a flea or something pricke me
under my coate.
POL. I know
not, but I have a flea or something troubles me under 3650
my coates too. Come, pray, letts goe in. [Cupes starteth from under
the
Fryers gowne.]
CUP. Lett’s
goe in? Noe, stay you, shameless queane, I am come forth as
out of a Trojan horse. Now, Troy, thou art taken “and thou Achilles that
wasted Troy.”
3655
POL. What’s
the meaning of this? From whence came hee? Out of
your intralls?
CUP. O
Polla, you are troubled with fleas, are you? But Ile flea you.
POL. Ha, he,
my deare husband, it was but in a merry vaine.
COL. Phooh,
she was but in iest. 3660
CUP. I like
noe such iesting. Have I caught you now, Polla? I hid me
here on purpose.
POL. No,
Cupes, ’tis a gulty conscience made you hide. I know it
by experience.
CUP. Well,
Polla, then now I hope we are even with one another. 3665
COL. Since
you are soe alike and live alike, a wicked wife and a
wicked husband, I wonder you agree noe better together.
POL. We doe well enough when we are together.
COL. Then
gett you together, and live hereafter in love and unity.
CUP. Aye,
without your blessing or case of conscience, brother, yet 3670
I love you too.
POL. I’le
inside, my husband, unless you want something of me. [Exit.]
CUP. Polla,
goe in before, and Ile follow you.
COL. Now to
our sluts.
CUP. Come
lett’s goe. Though you are a wicked one, I know you 3675
wish me well.
COL. Aye,
from my very heart and marrow, Cupes. [Exit Cola.]
TRICO, CUPES [With a flask and a cupp ]
TRI. So, hoe, hoe, Cupes, Cupes.
CUP. What,
my boone blade Trico, are you there?
TRI. Looke
you here, I stole these to sacrifice, Cupes, for thy good 3680
deserts, for all thinges have passed very comically with us. Theodorus
has paid Ignoramus his six hundred crownes, and Torcol is nobly
satisfyed
and we have a feast of tryumph within, dauncing, and singing and
laughing,
and sporting, saluting, embracing, and kissing upon kissing.
CUP. I’faith
Ile goe and reioyce with them, for by my meanes, Trico, 3685
this is brought about.
TRI. Nay, by
my meanes, Cupes, for I was he that brought Antonius
from the shipp.
CUP. But,
Trico, I scared away Ignoramus with the horne.
TRI. But,
Cupes, I was faine to keep him first by putting cases to him, 3690
and afterwards I brought Dulman to you.
CUP. But,
Trico, who counterfeited Torcol? Who sweeten’d Dulman with
sugar, and gave him Polla instead of Rosabella, was it not Cupes?
TRI. But who
taught Antonius how to cosin his own father by a mole
on’s face and English converse, was it not Trico? 3695
CUP. But,
Trico, who became a holy brother and cast out devills, and
who confirm’d Theodorus in his errour?
TRI. Aye,
but, Cupes —
CUP. Aye,
but, Trico — phooh, say no more, for to day you shall never goe
beyond me in wickednes. 3700
TRI. I know
we have done well both of us. But, Cupes, who made the
designe —
CUP. If
Trico made the designe, Cupes did the engraving.
TRI. Well,
be it soe then, lett’s contend noe more about it. But, Cupes,
our successe is all in all. 3705
CUP. You
fear for our successe? Lose you not your hope, for the mercy
of our sovereign, that most excellent of men upon whom all successe
depends, offers us hope. Let us now offer up a cupp for fair and
prosperous
successe, as is meet and right to doe.
TRI. Rather let us offer up a cupp for the sacred
health of our great 3710
ruler, in whose health is contained the health of us all.
CUP. I
accept your augury. [Trico drinks the health.] Nowe I adjure
you,
spectators, that this night, or at very most to morrow, you lift your
cupps
and offer this toste.
TRI. And
those who will not soe so with a good wille, may they have 3715
wives more putrid than Polla.
CUP. May
they bee duller than Dulman, and more ill-mannerd than
Ignoramus.
TRI. And
more wry-necked than Torcol, by the hand of the hangeman.
CUP. And to
all goode wordes be more stone deaf than Surda. 3720
TRI. And
what they drincke in may they ne’re pisse out.
CUP. And soe
those who wish to ’scape this great misfortune…
TRI. …and who wish all happie successe for you…
CUP. …pray for the health of our sovereign, pious, happie, and ever
august, as we doe. 3725
TRI.
Likewise, as is fitt, do you all give up your applause.
IGNORAMUS
Hush, hush, peace, peace, keep the peace with your
hands. You laugh and
clappe, but what shall become of your poore Ignoramus? For unless I take
out a writ of non molestando, my brother Ignoramuses will
trubble mee with
noe mercy. Loe, vostro povero Ignoramo is booted and
spurred, as you see, to 3730
ride to London. But absent royal proteccion hee will not dare ride
beyond
Barkeway, or Ware at most, as a certaine legal poet elegantly puts it.
Wherefor, most serene majesty, I pray that you graunt mee and my
retinue
letters patent of safe conduct. Vous, monsieurs, if
this entreaty meet with your
approval, sett your hands to it.
3735
