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ACT IV, SCENE i
Chysocancrio, feeling himself worse since hee tooke Death to serve him, can by noe meanes by him be perswaded but hee will from home to take counsaile of the phisition.
CHRYS. Uh, uh, uh, Thanatus, since thou came hither
The coughe hath almost spent mee, and the goute
Has wellnye ta’ne my lif. And, which is worse,
I oft ha thought to send for the phisition.
DE. Truelye, in my conceit there was noe neede, sir. 1305
CHRYS. Yes, there was neede and is, but thou wudst saie
There was noe neede to cast awaie my money.
And now I thinck on’t, ’tis the better waie
I goe myself.
DE. How? Thats the way indeed
To cast the same awaie. For looke yow, sir, 1310
You needes must give him somewhat for his counsaile,
And then yow weare your shooes besydes, sir.
’Tis well consider’d But Ile give him noething,
And Ile goe bare-foote.
DE. Rather send mee, sir,
That in the meane whyle yow maie rest in peace. 1315
CHRYS. Wudst ha mee therefore in the meane while deade?
DE. That yow may rest in peace, I saie, an’t please yow.
CHRYS. What meanes thou by those words, “to rest in peace”?
DE. Wud yow not rest in peace, sir?
CHRYS. Hould thy peace,
Th’art troublesojme. Ile goe, I’le have his counsaile. 1320
DE. And for what, sir, praie?
CHRYS. To ridd me of my coughe.
DE. Why there’s noe neede, sir, you may help yourselfe.
CHRYS. How, prethee?
DE. Houghe [Hock] your fleaghme [phlegm] up strongly, sir.
CHRYS. Well, there it is.
DE. Goe to, yet more.
CHRYS. What, more?
DE. For lief sir, pray.
CHRYS. Wuds ha mee houghe to death? 1325
DE. Why soe you willbee ridd, sir, of your coughe.
CHRYS. Is that thy good advice, thou treacherous knave?
Looke to my howse, ant’will. For now I goe. Exit senex.
DE. Goe and I wishe thou never shudst returne.
O what a labour have I had this daie 1330
To kill this vylde ould man! Who yet will live
In spite of Death himself and all men else.
Tenne prodigalls that noething cares to have
Are sooner killd’ then is one cov’tous slave.
And soe lykewyse as many good men still 1335
Doe lightly sooner dye then doth one ill.
For ’tis to be observed in mens fate
That hee lives oftymes long’st whom all men hate.
But touching our ould man, now all my hope
Lyes onelie in the hands of this phisicion 1340
And comonlie indeed the ignorance
Of these same men adde much unto my power.
Iff hee shall faile me now, I knowe not truelie
What waie to take. But who are these come hither?
ACT IV, SCENE ii
GRINCO, , COOKES, FIDLERS, DEATH
Grinco, haveing hyred cookes and fidlers, enters Chrisocancrio’s howse, obtayning leave first of Death.
GRIN. Come yow brave fellowes, both of faculties, 1345
That is, professors of good meate and musicke,
Yow’re men of lawe, and have it on your syde.
For yow, cookes, have a hotchpott in your tenures.
Yow fidlers, your best meanes lyes in your cases,
And both can doe mee pleasure in your places. 1350
But if yow wud knowe myne opinion
Whether [Which] of yow indeed I more esteeme of,
I hould yow, cookes, before all mortall men
To be preffer’d. For from your art I gather
Manye and good demonstrable conclusions 1355
That better not soe much my understandinge
As they doe gett mee a good appetite.
Naie, they doe seaze mee wholly and goe through mee,
And make mee bee most knoweinge in theire workings,
Even from my mouth unto my hinder-end. 1360
Whereas your art, thoughe’t recreate my mynde,
Doth passe but throughe the one eare to the other,
And yeelds a dyeing sound as doth a —
FID. But ours is one ’ th’ lib’rall sciences.
GRIN. Well, bee it soe, I grannt it. But with mee 1365
Theires is one surelie of the liberall’st.
But ha yow all things now provided?
But tell us where these meates must bee made readie.
GRIN. Why, in the kitchin sure.
COOK But where must that bee?
GRIN. At Chysocancrio’s howse.
COOK But tell us whoe 1370
Must paye’s our wages?
GRIN. That must Scombrio.
COOK But will hee paie us?
GRIN. Yes, yes, doe’t and sure.
Ile knock. Who’s in? Open ye dore here, hoe.
DE. Who’s that commands soe?
GRIN. Ope the dore, I saie.
DE. What now, what wundst thou?
GRIN. Noething I with thee. 1375
DE. Why dust thou beate ye dore soe?
GRIN. ’Cause it wrongs mee.
DE. It doth not.
GRIN. Yes, as I maie saie to thee nowe.
DE. There’s noe man here at home but I.
GRIN. Thou lyest,
For thou art not at home.
DE. Where’s then my home?
GRIN. Amongst the wormes, I thincke. Come, sirrah.
DE. Softe. 1380
Yow come not here. My maister is gone forth.
GRIN. Wud that were true thou sai’st!
DE. I saie hee’s gone.
GRIN. I wud he were — out of the world in trothe.
DE. And it may welbee soe as thou wud ha’te.
GRIN. Come, ope the dore then, come.
DE. At whose command? 1385
GRIN. At Scombrio’s.
DE. Come then.
GRIN. That’s kyndelye done.
DE. Soe. Now if phisick cnannot worke the feate
To gett our ould man deade before his time,
Yet thesese mens presence, with such preparacions
For feasts and revells, and then Scombrio 1390
His robbing him of all is goods and moneys,
And’s ryotous consumeinge of the same
Will strike the stroke (I hope) and quench his flame.
But here comes Scombrio, and some guest with him.
ACT IV, SCENE iii
SCOMBRIO, FRANGICOSTONIDES, DEATH
The roaring boy is terrified with the sight of Death. Death tells Scombrio that hia father is departed, whom Scombrio deludes and mockes (he assaieing to kill him according to covenant) by makeing often shewe that hee would praie. At length, leaving Death without doors, <Scombrio> enters thedhowse with his champion. Deathe, being angrie, resolves to bringe back the ould man suddeinly and at unawares upon them.
SCOM. Lett’s goe on chearefullie, my noble captaine. 1395
For if the devills industrie, your valour,
Or Deathes presage doe any thing prevaile,
I shall this daie come to bee verie riche,
And yow shall have a dowrie with the witche.
FRANG. Ile intertaine the dowrie willinglie. 1400
But for the witch, Ile leave her for the devill.
SCOM. Will you not wedd her then?
FRANG. Wedd her that will.
Shall I wedd her, that instantly (I feare)
Will turne mee to an oxe.
SCOM. Nay yow saie true,
There’s noething worse than a cornuted [horned] creature. 1405
But soe. Death stands att’ dore. D’ee know the man?
Staie, sir. Why doe yow flye?
FRANG. I flye not, fellowe,
But shift my ground.
SCOM. Why staie, I bidd yow, sir.
Hee will not hurt yow.
FRANG. Puh, I feare him not.
But I eschewe him least that I shud hurt him. 1410
SCOM. Yow cannot, sir. For looke yow, hee’s all bones.
FRANG. And Ime all iron. But, saie, dust thou knowe him?
SCOM. Yes, sir. This daie I have him to my father
To be his servaunt.
FRANG. But beware that shortlie
Hee bee not maister and destroye yow both. 1415
SCOM. It is my mynde indeed hee kill my father.
But mee, I’me sure, hee cannot hurt as yett.
But tell mee praye, what doe yow thincke of him?
FRANG. I thinck by his face hee’s much what lyke to Lent,
Or else the Ember Daies, or the eves of seints. 1420
For all these same I am as sore affraid of
As of the sight of him, to tell thee truelie.
SCOM. Lett’s heare what newes he brings us. Save thee, Death.
DE. And thee also, if thou bee to bee saved.
SCOM. Ha’sat thou dispatchte the matter?
DE. Yes, thy father. 1425
And thou’lt despatche the matter too thou wotts on.
SCOM. My fathers wealth, thou meanes.
DE. And soe thou meanes.
But I indeed meane for a common-wealth,
That thou shalt shortlie dye, for dye thou must.
SCOM. I, I knowe that . But is my father gone? 1430
DE. Believe it sure, hee’s not in all the howse.
SCOM. What, is hee buried then?
DE. Tush, buried, man?
Thou shalt not fynde him here, I warrant thee.
SCOM. ’Tis well done on thee.
DE. Doe thou alsoe well.
SCOM. What means thou, prethee?
DE. To prepare thy selfe. 1435
SCOM. Why, I am now prepar’de.
DE. Come on then.
’Tis but to dinner.
DE. But Ile kill th’ afore.
SCOM. Thou cann’st not.
DE. Whoe will then defend thee from mee?
SCOM. What saie yow, captaine, will not yow defend mee?
FRANG. Wud I were nowe amongst the Antipodes! 1440
Yes, but defend thy selfe first manfullie.
SCOM. Are yow affraide, sir, then?
FRANG. Ime not affraide,
But — Goe to, man.
SCOM. Then helpe, sir, to defend mee.
FRANG. I saie, goe to. Thou wilt not need my helpe.
SCOM. Hee’l kill m’ indeed.
FRANG. Why lett him kill thee hardlie? 1445
SCOM. And what wud yow I shud goe to,
When hee has kill’d me?
FRANG. To the dev’ll, an’t will.
So that I goe not with thee, what care I?
SCOM. And will yow leave your freind soe, sir?
FRANG. O sir,
I love my freind well, but my self muche better. 1450
SCOM. And wilt thou kill mee then?
DE. Doubt not of that.
SCOM. What have I done?
DE. A mischief.
SCOM. But to whom?
DE. Unto thyself.
SCOM. And when was that, I prethee?
DE. When thou made o’re thy selfe unto mee.
But saie, on what condicion?
DE. Marie this, 1455
That I shud kill thy father/
SCOM. And what then?
DE. Then afterwards that I shud kill thee too.
SCOM. Well, but goe on.
DE. After one litle praier.
SCOM. And hear’st thou, wilt thou stande unto thy promis?
DE. What mean’st thou, ha?
SCOM. That thou performe thy promis. 1460
DE. Praie quicklie then.
SCOM. Wilt thou not interrupt mee?
DE. Come praie, I saie.
SCOM. Nor doe mee any harme.
DE. Now, in the devills name, why dust not praie?
SCOM. Till I have finishte.
DE. What, not yett?
SCOM. My praier?
DE. I saie I will not. Hye thee how and praie. 1465
SCOM. Naie, thou had need to hye thee to be wyser.
For thou art surelie far behynde thy purpose.
DE. Why soe?
SCOM. Because th’ has noething to doe with mee
Unlesse I praie.
DE. That’s true.
SCOM. And this is true,
That ’tis not good for mee to praie at all. 1470
DE. Wilt thou not therefore praie?
SCOM. O by all meanes.
DE. Beginne then.
SCOM. When Ime weare of my lief.
DE. What dust thou meane by this?
SCOM. I meane by this
That Ile not praie.
DE. And dust thou mocke mee then?
SCOM. And wudst thou kill mee then? Awaie, awaie. 1475
Goe in, good captaine. Watch thou here without.
DE. Goe, gett thee in too, and all Ile goe with three.
SCOM. And tarrie thou, all ill here till I praie.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, farewell. Exierunt.
DE. What? Shall I bee
Deluded by a foole? Soe shamefullie? 1480
And flouted too, in myne owne termes as’t were?
Assure himselfe hee shall not ha’t for well-done.
For Ile goe call the ould man back againe
Whose coming in, when hee dus least thinck on it,
As hee were newly rysen from is grave 1485
To live againe and check his wastfull follies,
Will well revenge mee on him for this geare [insult].
’Fath, hee shall soone have store of weeping cheare.
Here’s yet more guests, I see.
ACT IV, SCENE iv
GRAMPOGNA, THE DEVILL, DEATH
The witche, affraied at the sight of Death, intreates the devill to keepe Death from her, of whom hee obtaines that he will leave her to the hangman
GRAM. O lord Granbufo!
DEV. What is the matter, trowe?
GRAM. Why, seest thou noething? 1490
DEV. What shud I see?
DEV. Why, I see him daylie.
Why flyes thou, woman?
GRAM. Shall I not flye death.
DEV. Tarrie, I saie, hee is my friend.
GRAM. Maie bee,
But hee’s not myne.
DEV. Why soe?
GRAM. For thou art mine.
DEV. How canst thou love me, and not love Death too? 1495
GRAM. For liefs sake.
DEV. Well, have a good hart, Grampogna.
GRAM. l wud I had a good soule, then ’twere well.
DEV. ’Save thee, Death, hartelie.
DE. O brother devill!
Damnacion ot thee verie hartelie.
DEV. I here commend this witch unto thee, freind. 1500
DE. And I will recommend her unto thee.
GRAM. Now whyle I live, my freind, saie not.
DE. Why not?
GRAM. For I commend my self sufficientlie.
DEV. ’Tis true. Thou therefore shalt forbeare this tyme.
DE. Lett it be soe. Ile leave her to the hangman. 1505
But whither goes thou now.
DEV. To Scombrio.
DEV. To give him his fathers goods up to him,
And then to take him.
DE. What, to marriage sure?
DEV. I, but to celebrate the same in Hell.
DE. Th’ had best take heede that hee beguile thee not. 1510
As hee did mee to daie.
DEV. As if he could
Beguile the devill! Come, let us goe in.
DE. And Ile goe fetch ye ould man back againe.
Go to Act V